Well, this seems like a really messy set up with all sorts of random things, and the name.. Yeah its about a guy i know. He's my best friend, even though were not as close as we used to be right now.
I mess up alot, not always saying the right things with him, even though with anyone else you all know i just say the perfect things, what everyone wants to hear. But the thing is, im not sure what he wants to hear, maybe nothing just scilence. I would bet i let him down alot, with the things i do or say, but sometimes he just suprises me, and im not used to that. He makes me lose his place, and it makes me so mad because all i want to do is make him feel happy in the slightest of ways.
Growing up in the life i have, where i just get what ever i want maybe isnt the best friend to be around him. He has is so hard. His parents dont listen or take the time to try to hear him, they ask so much of him and his brother. Honestly he is the complete oppisite of me in every way, hes so quite and we all know im the loudest. He never seems happy though when am i ever sad?
Its like he has all the answers to life sometimes, one of the most smartest guys, i think i have ever met. We were walking home once and no matter what i asked he knew, the actually green of the line, he even one day was telling me how to get the sun. And even though i never tell him, it amazes me how he dosent even have to try, and its like everything frezzes when he becomse passionate about a topic even if i have no care for it, i cant help but listen.
I think, at some point he lost something that you cant replace. I guess for a while, i just tryed to change things keep his mind off thoughts.. But then i worked out if he needed me he would ask if he was hurt enough he is going to tell someone.So i stopped messeging him and he stopped too and now we have gone from every day endless convosations to once a week words here and there. He has a friend, who kinda of understands him on a level that makes him that bit happy her names stacey i just hope tells her some things, less of a chance he would exsplode.
He has a girlfriend shes younger but thats okay, shes really sweet and shes my friend too, and even though i dont agree with alot of her actions i stay out of it, and when i find out others are trying to get involde, well i put them back in there spot. I guess i am always going to look out for him, he doesnt need everyone talking about his girlfriend about stuff he already knows, It isnt going to help, just cause him more misory.
Time has flown by, and each day i guess i notice more then i want too. Hes not happy with himself, i think it is partly due to he thinks everything he does is wrong or a mistake. When i found out, i self-harmed i did what most people do, that pointless stuff of complerments and telling him that hes better then that and worth more and he means something to alot of people. Now i know, there just words, they wear off even though every word was true its still words that fill an empty page but not a heart.
He is perfect, in his own way and i wish more people would tell him how perfect he really is. How he can make someones day with just a nice comment. He is so talented, hes a fast runner and hes not just book smart, sports and funny hes like everything wrapped into one, he deserves the best.
Hes amazing, hes one of the only people who ever make me nervous, hint the butterfiles. I dont do nervous/shy its not cute on me, but i find it hard to evn talk to him in person with out forgetting what i was going to say :3
I have learned so much about him, but hes like a never ending book of new chapters and storys, but one of my fav books. I love so many things about him, how he speaks so propper and how spelling is alot to him, if he was reading this he would most likely be screaming at the screen for the horrible spelling though out this. But thats okay, because he is perfect the way he is.
He avoids feelings like the plage, he trys not to care but really i think its because he just doesnt want to be hurt, so he trys to shut it all out.. But at night when hes alone in the dark listening to the quite. I think it eats him alive.
Not only is he amazing on the inside, but a real Hunk on the outside. He has a pack a pretty firm one, and his arms are a massive weak spot for me, i just love there shape and the lines when the muscel bends in when he moves his arms. He looks ADORABLE when he bites his lip, and i wouldnt tell him ever but he gives pretty dam good hugs too. His hair is kinda culry its cute as and he might love my blue eyes, but i love his eyes there kind of like aurtum. Hes a real hottie, and alot of girls no it, hard not to stare at even more when that V line shows when the wind blows his school shirt up, my best friend thinks thats the best part. But I really like his smile, it screams him every bit.. He might hate it and not get why but im not the only girl to notice it.
Hes not the happyest but he can be the funnest, hes not the most easy going but hes really smart he can be completely stubbon and jokinly mean but i like ever bit, I like how once his mind is made its almost impossible to change.He has annoying habbits like me, always has a pen and clicks it alot he can make you laugh in any topic with out even trying.
It was my best friends big party this year, and all i could smell was guys wearing lynx thought i was going to die. Prince though didnt help by using all my weakness's againts me for laughs. But i saw a fun side of him, putting glowstick juice everywhere, spending the night with haylea playing spin the bottle for shiz and gigz music everything. He was really fun and well hot but more like happy.. It was a good night, i saw something i never thought i would.
Hes not rich, hes got no super powers or dating a celb but he is a teenager, like all of us. Some of us are lost some are scared others are trying not to waste life, some hurt and others doing the hurting. Just trying to find a place, to find us. Life isnt easy, there is no rule book or directions. Some people get off before they really lived it and every day im scared he will be one of them, and i wont ever get to tell him as much as i would love to about him, i never would be able to say it all doubt we coould live that long. But i try every day and im always there, because hes a best friend that makes me happy, so im not giving up until i do the same, I want to see that smile more.
We were really close. one night we stayed up until 5am on skype and ended up falling asleep even though it took me forever to convince him too go to sleep himself. Its hard stepping back and waiting, i would be lost with out him he made me see things so differently i had the easy life got it all, first state school when i came to his i was always daddys little angle but now im with my mum, new school new people said i wouldnt get attached wouldnt make friends, now look at me i never shut up about them. Lifes crazy and it has its moments but i think we just have to hold onto what we love before we lose it all and then question every breath, and i dont think he is there yet because the way he talks about her makes me think that he loves something and is going to keep on breathing. So hes a prince, hes perfect inside and out completely tanlented in love with the un-exspected but has problems too, but thats life. And im thankful he has been in mine.
I could keep going, but we all know i cant spell so see you all soon, with a new set!
Thanks. For.The.Memories Hunk, Love BT :')